|
[19 Oct 2009|09:01pm] |
Clara "Clare" Donelly was born February 14th, 1985. One would think that being born on Valentine's Day would automatically gaurantee you luck in love, but it always seemed to be the opposite for Clare. Her first boyfriend was a jerk in a nice guy's clothing, her first love cheated on her with her best friend, and on and on it went. It probably didn't help that she never had a good example of what love was growing up. Her earliest memory always had her parents fighting in it. Even when thier marriage ended, they still couldn't stop fighting long enough to realize that there were more important things than thier own ridiculous pride. While they were both guilty of being petty, it always seemed to be her mother that was the worst. If there was one thing Clare knew for a fact that she had gotten from her mother it was her ability to hold a grudge. It didn't matter how hard her father tried to show that he wanted to be a good person and a good father, her mother never missed an opportunity to get a shot in. It's difficult to have faith in the opposite sex when your mother continuously puts them down. It's even harder to have faith in relationships when the most important one around you falls apart.
With every relationship that fell apart, in her own life and around her, love became less of an experience and more of a four-letter word. She couldn't exactly pinpoint when she stopped being the heartbroken and started being a heartbreaker, but relationships were no longer amazing breathtaking experiences. They had become a wicked game of who could end it it quicker. At least it was on Clare's end. She was convinced that if she didn't end it first, the guy would break her heart. It didn't bother her at first. In fact, she didn't even notice. Whenever her friends pointed it out, joking that she was an ice queen or a black widow, she would excuse it by pointing out thier flaws that may or may not have exsisted. She didn't have the guys to admit that she panicked once those three little words were exchanged and headed for the hills. But soon, she started to realize that something was wrong. She had fallen in love with her best friend and they had an amazing relationship. They got along famously and he knew her better than anyone else in the world. But then he uttered those three words and it all came crumbling down. She went from being in love with him to wanting someone new almost overnight. She tried hard to hold on and find her love for him again, but in the end, there was no chance and she ended the relationship.
After that, Clare decided to take a break from guys. She wanted the next guy to be the guy who would break the curse. She wanted to get to know him, spend time with him, basically fall for him before she even got involved with him. She wanted to take her time and no guy seemed to last to fit the bill. She decided that if he was out there, he would come to her. She had other things in her life that she could focus on. She was going to school to be a teacher so she could teach second grade. Second grade was the best time of her academic career. It was when she was happiest, when she had the best teacher, when she best grades, and even when she met her first crush. She wanted to make as great memories for other children. So, she put her nose to the grindstone and put her social life on hold. Her friends kept trying to drag her out to frat parties, but she preferred to lock herself away in the school library and underneath a pile of child psychology books. But she couldn't hide from the opposite sex forever. Graduation was coming fast and she knew that even once she had that diploma in hand and she started her student teaching, she still couldn't avoid the opposite sex. There had to be at least one guy teacher. Half the reason she loved school was because of the cute male teachers.
After graduation, she decided to come out of hiding and see what happened. If there was a guy out there for her, there was no way he would be able to find her if she was hiding. She moved into a studio apartment downtown and started her student teaching at the nearby elementary school. She felt refreshed and rejuvinated and ready for whatever came her way. Little did she know that it would come sooner than she thought. She was having lunch during her first day student teaching when she spotted the school landscaper. She must have been too busy staring at him to notice the crack in the sidewalk because next thing she knew, her heel went SNAP! and she went stumbling...right into his arms. If you asked her, she would have said it was love at first sight. Then again, any guy who looked like he did would make a girl fall in love at first sight. His name was Austin and he turned out to be exactly what she needed to break the curse. Before she knew it, they had already been together four months. She was starting to think that he might just be the one and even though deep down she knew he didn't want a monogamous relationship, she hoped that he felt the same way about her.
But as much as she would have liked it to be her happily ever after, it wasn't. During thier fourth month together, Clare found out she was pregnant with Austin's child. She tried hard not to be happy about it, especially seeing the way Austin panicked over it, but she knew that she wanted to be a mother. She had always known she wanted to be a mother. She was just doing it sooner and under original different circumstances than she had originally planned. She was looking forward to having a baby and the fact that despite not being ready to be a father, Austin was willing to be there for her and the child made her happier than she could ever communicate to him. She was starting to feel like things would finally work out. But just like it had been several times before, her heart had been doomed to break. Four months into the pregnancy, Clare suffered a miscarriage and ended up losing the baby. She was devestated. She felt like she had lost a part of herself and to make matters worse, her boyfriend who all she wanted was to cry with her and feel as empty as she felt was relieved. In that moment, her heart shattered and she lost the ability to see him as the man she loved and wanted to spend the rest of her life with. They tried to get thier relationship back on track, but a month later, they ended up breaking up. Clare went back to work and tried to get her life back to normal.
|
|
![[info]](http://www.insanejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
